To Draco Lucius Malfoy
by CountessCzan
Summary: Months passed. We communicated constantly. I still love you. You still didn't know. ONESHOT Dramione. Hermione's letter for him.


To Draco Lucius Malfoy,

I always knew I could turn back time, but I did not. If I did, I would have lied to you on that fateful day you asked me for a spare quill. If I did, I would have shook my head no and resume to writing my notes. If only I did turn back time. Alas, I didn't.

My memory is still fresh. I remember that day vividly, when everything happened that made our lives _intertwined _together.

You were, unfortunately, my seat mate that day. I came in late because Professor McGonagall wanted to talk to me about Head Duties with Terry Boot. Ancient Runes was one of the classes we share, and surprisingly, you made it in the N.E.W.T. class of it. Upon entering, I belatedly noticed that the only available seat was beside yours. Begrudgingly, I sat down as Professor Babbling discussed a new topic. Fifteen minutes later, we were all copying notes.

You turned to me and asked if I had a spare quill.

I looked at you, surprised. I remember asking myself, 'Is this Draco Malfoy speaking to me?' But to answer your question, of course I did, being the top notcher I was. I handed you a quill, and then, you _smiled._

It was so fleeting, so quick and so small, I believed I almost imagined it. But no, you actually smiled and your smile reached your eyes. It wasn't the usual warm smile Harry does, or the goofy grin of Ron's, but a grateful smile that reached the eyes. I admit, I was struck by how sincere your smile was.

After our class, you offered to be my study partner. I was terribly surprised at your invitation, but I agreed. I knew then that you were trying to make up for your past deeds, and I immediately regretted my initial thoughts of you. I decided to give you a second chance, because if I didn't, who will?

Days onward, we always meet at the library. Harry and Ron was wary of you, but Ginny warmed up after you apologized to us. Luna wasn't a problem; she wasn't the type of person to hold grudges. My friends gradually accepted you as my friend, but not as their friend. There was still a line there. Likewise, you introduced me to Blaise, Theo and Pansy. Theo was hostile at first, if I remember well, but Pansy and Blaise was so kind to me. Blaise, especially, because through me, he met Luna. Pansy was such a girly girl that she clicked with Ginny. To this day, they meet up on weekends to discuss fashion.

We became the best of friends. My friendship with yours was far more special than my friendship with Harry and Ron. It was a given, seeing as they had each other, while I had no one. No one, until you came. Rumors ran about, stating that we were secretly dating. The absurdity of such gossips used to humor me, but now I wish they had been true.

Our friendship flourished, blossomed. There were ups and downs, but we continued it. Many judged us, ridiculed us, tormented us, but we stayed strong. We were almost inseparable. People would do a double take if they saw Draco Malfoy without Hermione Granger outside classes, and vice versa. It was funny, actually. We had so much fun in our last year. Remember the time I turned your hair violet? I still had pictures of it, just so you know. You retaliated by - never mind, I do not want to remember that.

I also remember the day you saved me. I fell on the Black Lake, and after I did not resurface for moments, you knew I was drowning. It was quite traumatic for me. As my best friend, you jumped in and saved me. Afterwards, you gave me the pleasure of being reminded that I owe my life to you. I cried and you laughed, and we ate éclairs later, courtesy of the house-elves.

We graduated. As many expected, I was the first in our year. I nervously gave my speech. I sought your angelic face among the crowds and after locating you, you gave me an encouraging smile. It made me calm.

Many years went by before the question presented itself - Am I in love with my best friend? I tortured myself for two weeks, and at the end of the fourteenth day, I cried. I knew the answer. I always did, but I was terribly afraid of it. I laughed and I cried. Crazily. I wanted to mock myself. How in bloody hell would you reciprocate my feelings? _Me,_ the girl whose nose is always buried in a book. _Me, _the nerd, geek, bookworm. The plain, unpopular one. _The exact opposite of you._

I hid my feelings. They were better off hidden. Considerably, I held up really well. Time flew and we grew up. I still love you, but sadly, I don't have the guts to tell you that.

Then you met _her._ I marvelled at how quickly you drifted away from me, at how you immediately forgot my existence. Need I tell you how it was bloody _dreadful_ for me to wake up everyday, knowing that I'm _no one _for you?

Yet I gave in. I sacrificed my own happiness for your own. You were my Achilles' Heel. I wasn't yours.

Two years. Two long, miserable years that you weren't by my side. What can I say? You're not my property, not _mine._ You turned into a stranger. Cold. Distant. _Unknown._

After those years, you finally remembered me. Wow! Was she that interesting enough for you to forget about me? I asked you sarcastically. Your eyes show a great deal of remorse and guilt, but being you, you denied and asked me what I was talking about. I just said, never mind. But you were sorry. _Touché._

Months passed. We communicated constantly. I still love you. You still didn't know.

Days afterwards, I received a letter from you. An invitation. For what? _Marriage. _My life crumbled to pieces upon opening that blasted letter. To say that my heart was broken was a complete understatement. It was shattered. Words cannot express how I felt that day. My heart.. shattered into tiny little pieces that I knew would take forever to mend.

_I turned into a robot._

I stopped functioning properly. I was cold, I was numb, I was pained. I don't know what to do anymore. Is life even that important to me? You were - still are - my life. And as much as it kills me, I unwillingly let go.

Today, I walked down the aisle. I walked down in a pretty dress, with flowers in my hand. You were waiting at the end. But not for me. For the girl that walked after me, for the girl of your life, face shining so radiantly and eyes lovely. With a painted smile, I painfully looked at the bride - your bride. My heart swelled from different emotions. That moment, _I died._

I'm still wishing you didn't borrow my quill. Do you know why? Because from that moment on, _you entered my life without my permission._

_xx,_

Hermione Granger

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Author's Note : To those that didn't get it, Hermione has unrequited love for him. Review, please? Appreciated. Thank you.


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